How to receive feedback with a growth mindset

How to receive feedback with a growth mindset

I remember the first time I received real feedback on my art. I was in a creative sculpture class my sophomore year of college. I’d spent the last two weeks working hard on a mixed media sculpture. I don’t consider myself a visual artist, and I’d pushed myself hard to create something I loved. Nestled in a shoebox was a winter scene, with a bird sitting in a tree I’d created from found materials. It certainly wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was mine, and I was really happy with it.

Then the critique started. 

All criticism was sandwiched between compliments, as we’d been instructed to do. My professor and peers looked at the creation I’d spent weeks on and verbally pulled at all the loose threads, unraveling it. They liked it, but it could be improved. I’d done well, but I could do better.

At the end, I left the classroom with my notebook and my sculpture, my mind swirling with ideas. The voices of a dozen classmates, plus my professor, followed me for days. It felt silly to be so stuck in what they’d said; I was only taking this class for fun, but their critique stung. Worse, I didn’t know whose words to prioritize. I didn’t know what to take to heart and what to toss out.

If I could go back in time and talk to 18 year old me, I’d tell them to worry less. Receiving feedback is a skill I was learning just as much as I was learning to make creative sculptures. By the end of the semester, I took feedback like a champ, because I’d strengthened that muscle simply by practicing. I learned what opinions to value and what to cast aside. I learned to articulate my vision and stay true to myself, even when I was receiving conflicting advice.

Here is some advice I’d give to anyone who wants to learn how to receive feedback with a growth mindset:

• Remember that not all opinions carry the same weight. When you ask for feedback, make sure you are turning to people you trust and artists you admire. If you don’t trust someone or don’t enjoy their work, they don’t have as much to offer you.
• Make sure you’re clear in your intentions. If you don’t know what you want to accomplish, you’re not going to know how to receive feedback. Make sure you have a deep understanding of your intentions for your piece. If feedback is missing the mark, it’s possible that you didn’t communicate your intentions clearly enough. Rethink the piece with that in mind.
• Look for patterns in your feedback. If one person says something, it’s a matter of opinion that you can choose to incorporate or ignore. If a bunch of people are saying the same thing, it’s probably worthwhile to strongly consider that feedback.
• When you’re asking for feedback, it can be helpful to tell your critique partners what type of feedback you’re specifically looking for. For example, I sometimes send a novel to friends and say things like “I’m worried the third act lacks tension. Will you let me know if you notice that?” Or I might say “I want to hear what you think about plot and characterization, but I’m not looking for feedback on prose right now.” Not everyone will listen to this all the time, but it really helps narrow down what people are saying to you.
• Give yourself time to process. It’s easy to have a knee jerk reaction and write off someone as being wrong. When feedback rankles you, take the time to think about why it rubs you the wrong way and what you may be able to learn from it. The same goes for feedback you agree with. Take the time to process what about it resonates with you before you dive in to making changes. This will help you be more intentional with your adjustments.
• Remember that you want to improve your skills as an artist and feedback is one great way to do that. The more you push yourself, the more you’ll grow, and the better art you’ll make. In a sense, feedback is a gift someone else is giving you, and it’s up to you to receive it in a charitable way. 
• Use mindfulness techniques to make sure you’re not getting in your head about feedback. Take the time to visualize how good your work will be once you implement the notes you receive. Take deep, calming breaths to help you self regulate if feedback feels overwhelming or stressful. Before I’m going to receive feedback, I like to do things like go on a short walk or do a five minute meditation so that I’m in a good headspace.
• Don’t forget that learning how to receive feedback with a growth mindset is a journey, and it may take time until you feel good at it. That’s okay! Don’t beat yourself up if feedback is difficult for you, and take slow, steady steps towards mastering this skill, just like you would any other.

I’ve come a long way with my journey to learn how to receive feedback with a growth mindset. A few years ago, I was given the amazing opportunity to choose between three wonderful literary agents who wanted to represent my book. All of them were amazing, and all of them gave feedback. Two of them had very minor changes they wanted me to make, the type of thing I could probably address in an afternoon. The third gave big, sweeping notes, notes that would take months or weeks to implement. Years ago, it would have been difficult for me to receive so much feedback on a project I’d worked so hard on. However, after working hard to learn how to receive feedback with a growth mindset, I was actually delighted. The idea of working with a highly editorial agent who would push my work to be better than I could make it on my own sounded amazing. That’s the agent I ended up working with, and I know I made the right choice. The feedback I get on my work from a professional who I deeply trust has made me a much better writer, and I’m so glad.