Being an artist comes with a lot of rejection. It can be discouraging and difficult to deal with. For me, rejection was devastating when I first started pursuing art professionally. I worked hard to learn how to cope with rejection, but my personal and artistic growth really took off when I began to focus on learning from rejection instead of simply dealing with it. Here are some steps you can take to accept and grow from rejection.
Acknowledge your feelings.
When you or your art has been rejected, it can be tempting to push away negative feelings like anger, sadness, or self doubt. However, if you don’t acknowledge your feelings, it’s impossible to grow from them. Sitting with your feelings without judgment is an important step because it allows you to process your negative feelings and move on. Truthfully, even when you’ve been dealing with so much rejection that you get used to it (say you’re an author on submission to publishers or a filmmaker who is submitting to lots of film festivals) it’s never FUN. Negative emotions around rejection are completely normal and sitting with them without judging yourself is an important part of moving forward.
Seek support from your community.
While you’re sitting with your emotions, it may be helpful to talk to loved ones. I’m a writer on submission to publishers, and when a rejection has me in my feels it can be helpful to send a quick text to a friend, vent to my spouse, or tell my writing group that I’m feeling down. Having supportive people in your corner makes it that much easier to move on from your negative feels and makes it that much easier to prioritize learning from rejection.
Seek feedback in order to learn from rejection.
It’s not always possible to solicit feedback from the people who are rejecting you, and even if they offer it, it’s often subjective. However, when something has been racking up rejections and the feedback is consistent, it may be worth making some changes. Likewise, if you’ve been getting a lot of rejections without clear reasons, it’s probably worth asking some trusted critique partners for feedback on where they think you’re going wrong. It’s possible that there’s no problem and you’re just in a difficult, subjective industry, but it’s also possible that there are changes you can make to maximize your chances of success. Learning to accept feedback is its own skill, but it’s a huge part of the journey towards learning from rejection. Nothing is perfect and there’s always room for improvement.
Reaffirm the value of your art.
While there’s always room for improvement, it’s equally true that even when it’s being rejected, your art has intrinsic value. The fact that you undertook a creative project, completed it, and put it out into the world is an amazing achievement and regardless of what happens next, nothing can take that away from you. When I’m feeling down about rejection, I try to reaffirm the fact that I wrote a book and that I love it. If other people don’t respond to it the way that I was hoping, that has nothing to do with the intrinsic value of my work. Try a mantra reassuring yourself that you and your art are worthy.
Work on the next thing.
When you’re in a position where you are opening yourself up to rejection, one good way to shift your mindset is to begin your next project. While my book is on submission to publishers, I’m drafting the next one. While working on your next project, keep in mind the feedback you’ve been receiving, the strengths of your last project, and the weaknesses, too. Keeping those things in mind will only help you grow and do better work in the future.
Grow your skills.
If there are weak spots in your current project–which there will be, we’re all only human–find ways to grow your skills as you work on the next project. This can mean practicing things that you struggle with, taking a class, reading a craft book, watching youtube tutorials on that technique or skill, talking with creative friends, or anything else that helps you grow.
Write about or reflect on what you’re learning from rejection.
When I get a rejection that stings, I like to get myself a little treat like a matcha or a cookie and then journal for a little bit. If I received feedback, I journal about the comments and see if there’s any wisdom I can glean from them. When there’s little or no feedback, I write about the overall trends I’ve been seeing from my submission journey and if there are any improvements I can make. This helps with the sting of rejection (I get a treat) as well as pushing me towards learning from rejection (I see the areas in which I can grow.) This system has helped me feel more comfortable with rejection as well as helping me learn from it.
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