Jokes about little treats are all over social media. I feel like weekly someone sends me a meme or a TikTok about little treats. You probably already have a sense of what a little treat is; that $7 latte to celebrate getting to Friday, the overpriced cocktail after absolutely crushing it at work, the slice of cake after doing something hard or unpleasant. Basically, a little treat is the frivolous but motivating reward that we as adults give ourselves when we’ve done a good job, had a bad day, had a good day…
Why am I talking about the concept of little treats on a blog for artists? Well, I’m here to spread the good news about the little treat rejection system for artists. I’m an author on submission to publishers, which means that rejection is a big part of my life right now, and I’m here to tell you how to take the sting out of rejection. Regardless of if you’re on submission, querying agents, submitting to film festivals, applying to arts programs, or something altogether different, the little treat rejection system for artists is for you.
At its core, this system is very simple. One rejection = one treat. Easy peasy. But I’ve found it helpful to formalize this system to help with decision paralysis. The idea of a “little treat” is so vast, and that can be overwhelming. I also struggle when a “little treat” for rejection is something I can get myself on a regular basis (I already have a monthly coffee budget, for example.)
So how do I formalize it? Well, the first step is assigning a dollar value to each rejection. My rejections trickle in slowly for the most part, so I felt comfortable assigning $25 to each rejection. You should choose something that fits in your budget; if you’re expecting a lot of rejections around the same time, you probably want to go lower. If you’re expecting just a few higher-stakes rejections, you could go higher.
The next step is making a list of little treats. The purpose of this isn’t to limit yourself to things on the list, but rather to have a “menu” of sorts to choose from. I like to make a list of things at a range of price points, in case I get multiple rejections at once. This list should be things that you want but probably wouldn’t buy for yourself unless it was a special occasion. I’ve gotten myself things like clothing items I’d been eyeing but didn’t need, my favorite chili crisp that I have a hard time justifying because of the price point, jewelry, pottery, vinyl records, and yes, coffee (sometimes that’s just what you want!)
Once you have your list compiled, you’re ready. The next step is vital: the moment you receive your rejection, I want you to open up your treat list and start thinking about what you want. You don’t have to decide right away, but getting the ball rolling is imperative. Why is that? It’s because you’re literally training your brain to associate rejection with reward. For me, at least, it made rejection so much less painful. Now, instead of feeling crushed, I feel a little glimmer of excitement. Rejections will probably never be FUN. That’s just unrealistic; this is my dream. But taking the sting out of them has really, really helped.
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