Learning how to let go of perfectionism is a difficult journey. It’s easier to beat yourself up for making mistakes than do the hard inner work of learning to let them go. For artists, it’s vitally important that you learn how to let go of perfectionism. As I’m sure you already know, no art is perfect, and living an artist’s life can come with a lot of rejection. These four tips should make it easier to confront perfectionism and accept mistakes.
Be self aware
The first step of conquering perfectionism is learning to be self aware. The next time you’re having thoughts that you or your work isn’t good enough, take a moment to sit with that feeling. Try to identify where it’s coming from; what are your triggers? When these feelings come up for you, how do you react… and how do you wish you reacted? Eliminating feelings of perfectionism can take a really long time, so your first goal should simply be to be self aware when they come up for you.
Set realistic goals
Your goals should be realistic, achievable, and within your control. Making your boss happy 100% of the time isn’t a realistic goal, but you can commit to meeting certain benchmarks on your projects. Keeping your house perfectly clean at all moments probably isn’t realistic, but spending 15 minutes before bed tidying up is.
If you’re an artist, you’ll have to keep in mind that it’s impossible to create “perfect” art. Art is too subjective for that! You also probably won’t have much control over your so-called “success” as an artist. I’m a novelist and a screenwriter, and I had to let go of the idea that my writing would ever be perfect… and that I’d get a book published on a certain timeline. The things that ARE within my control is that I can commit to prioritizing reading and writing as a part of my weekly schedule, and I can dedicate myself to learning more about my craft by taking classes and reading craft books.
Celebrate your wins… and your mistakes
When you succeed at something, it’s important to acknowledge that. If you get good feedback at work, make sure to celebrate, even if it’s minor. If you receive constructive criticism and are able to handle it well, celebrate that too! You don’t have to get a promotion, run a marathon, or have a baby to deserve celebration. The small, every day wins matter too.
You should also be celebrating your mistakes. I know if you’re a perfectionist this will be hard, but mistakes are VITAL to learning and growing in ALL areas of your life. If you get a bad grade on a paper, give yourself credit for trying before you think of realistic ways you can improve next time. If you get feedback at work that’s hard to handle, instead of beating yourself up, treat yourself to a nice dinner and then think about how you can do better going forward. If you create a piece of art and you hate it, give yourself a pat on the back for creating it in the first place before you start over.
Focus on progress
The phrase “progress, not perfection” is a cliche for a good reason. Perfection is, quite genuinely, the enemy of progress. If I refused to write unless it was perfect, I’d never jot down a single word. I know this for a fact because I’ve been there before. With writing, every word you write counts towards the final product, even if you’re unhappy with it or have to edit it later. This is true for everything in life. Walking for 15 minutes might not be the same as breaking your PR in a marathon, but it’s still moving your body and is worth doing. Eating takeout when you don’t have time to cook a gourmet meal still nourishes your body. Cleaning your house for 30 minutes might not result in the whole thing being sparkling clean, but it will be 30 minutes closer to clean than it was before. When you focus on small, manageable steps instead of a “perfect” end result, you’ll get a LOT more done… and the results will be better, too!
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