How to romanticize your life

How to romanticize your life 

I’m sure you’ve seen it all over Tiktok, Instagram, and Pinterest: the girlies are romanticizing their lives. But how, exactly, do you do that? Most of us don’t have the picture-perfect apartments or houses, money for tons of beauty treatments every month, or a job that allows for slow, leisurely mornings. I know this is something I’ve wanted to do and have struggled with, especially when my life isn’t feeling especially romantic or beautiful. As a writer, I feel like I’m always thinking about the future, trying to accomplish new goals, and not focusing on the here and now.  It feels like it should be easy; I’m an artist after all! Seeing beauty is what I do! But that hasn’t been the case, so I’ve been working hard on it, and I’ve come up with some tips that will help you romanticize your life.

Make a list of ten little things you love about your life

Actually get out a piece of paper and a pen and write down a physical list of ten little things you love about your life as it exists right now. Not when you meet your future goals, not when you finish that big project, not when you’re in your dream relationship or dream job. Depending on how you feel about your life right now, this may feel like a challenge, but that’s okay.

Do you love the sunlight in your bedroom in the morning? The first sip of coffee of the day? The way fresh flowers look on your kitchen counter? The smell of laundry straight out of the dryer? The way your cat curls up on your lap? Your three PM Diet Coke? Your go-to breakfast? Sitting on your porch? Your skincare routine?

The list doesn’t have to be long. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It certainly doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to be little things that spark joy for you.

Find the common denominator

When I was looking at my list (which included my morning coffee, sitting outside with my matcha in the afternoon, caring for my plants, my Sunday tarot draw, a hot shower, and reading before bed) I didn’t see the common denominator. All of these things were lovely, sure–that’s why they were on my list–but what did they all have in common?

Eventually it came to me: intentionality. Each of these things represents moments throughout my day or week when I slow down and really live in the moment. I’m not thinking about my next project, the revisions that are stressing me out, the rest of my workday, or anything other than simply enjoying the present moment. This small, intentional acts create a feeling of peace within me. 

Once you have your common denominator, take a few minutes to write about what else creates that feeling for you. When do you feel intentional? (Or powerful, or creative, or carefree, or…)

Now you have another homework assignment. I want you to journal for a few minutes about other ways you can create that feeling you’re seeking. Specifically, you should be thinking about things that are currently possible for you. I’m sure I could be intentional as hell if I spent two months in the south of France, but that’s not currently in the cards.

What is in the cards? For me, spending more time doing the things I love (reading, going for walks, yoga, chatting with friends) instead of unintentionally wasting time (scrolling on my phone.) Lighting candles or incense when I work, getting outside (even if it’s just in my backyard), taking my laptop to my favorite coffee shop to work. 

Don’t worry about how you’re going to fit these things into your schedule. That’s for later. Right now, you’re just thinking about things that would feel good.

Start small and practice mindfulness to romanticize your life

See if there is one small thing you can do each day that brings that feeling that you’re seeking to the forefront. It doesn’t have to be the same thing every day. Then, while you’re doing it, try to practice mindfulness by staying in the present moment. Try to accept that you won’t be perfect about it the first time, or maybe ever.

For example, you might decide you want to spend 20 minutes reading before bed instead of scrolling on Tiktok. Try to notice how you feel when you do this. Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself reaching for your phone. Take a few deep breaths, thank yourself for making this time for yourself, and try again.

Just take a few minutes to do something like this each day. It can be as simple as stretching between work tasks, going for a short walk on your lunch break, or taking a few minutes to pet your dog.

Bring that feeling into the mundane

What if I told you that you can bring that feeling into the mundane, boring, every day parts of your life?

When I unload the dishwasher, I try to think about how much I love my dishes. When I cook dinner, I try to really experience each ingredient and think about how grateful I am to have access to them (even if I’m just making pasta.) When I’m working in my office, which I’m doing now, I try to take a few minutes to soak in how much I love this space, from the pink color drenched walls to my antique desk to my butterfly chandelier. 

What if, on WFH days, instead of hanging around in your sweats all day, you took five minutes to put on a cute but equally comfortable outfit to get your day started? What if you took your dinner to a nearby park and ate outside, or chose a lotion that smells so amazing that you look forward to putting it on after your shower?

Continue working to practice mindfulness, giving yourself grace when you don’t feel like it’s going perfectly. Romanticizing your life isn’t as simple as some influencers make it seem; it’s a habit that takes time to build, but with patience and effort, you will get there!

Do you have tips on how to romanticize your life? Let us know in the comments below!